What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 11


What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)


I say half-jokingly to all the couples that see me for premarital counseling: “There will come a time in your marriage when you wonder if you’ve made a BIG mistake in marrying your spouse.”


Marriage is hard. What do you expect when you take two flawed people and put them in that proximity to one another to try to create a life together?


There comes a point, though, where permanently ending the marriage becomes a real possibility in one or both your minds.


Here are several things to consider:


1. SEEK COUNSEL – If you haven’t talked to a wise friend, a pastor, or especially a counselor at length about your decision then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


2. RESET YOUR EXPECTATIONS – You aren’t ready to file for divorce if you haven’t tried to shed past disappoints of what you pictured marriage to be. Your expectations could be accurate, but they could also be unrealistic.


3. WORK ON YOURSELF – If you haven’t looked in the mirror and asked, “What have I negatively contributed to the failing of our marriage?” AND tried to resolve those flaws, then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


4. BE PATIENT – If you haven’t given ample time for your marriage to improve while working the above ideas then you aren’t ready to file for divorce. How long is long enough? Probably a lot longer than you think it is. Maybe years!


***A Note on Abuse: If you’re in a truly abusive marriage then get out now! Find a friend or family member to stay with and find safety. Collect your thoughts and begin working the items above to determine whether it’s worth pursuing.


HOMEWORK: Think back on the first time you and your spouse met. Journal the story of your first date together and reminisce. How does that feel to think back on that memory? At one point, you saw something in your spouse that made you fall in love and want to spend your life with them.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Uncomfortable" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • May 7, 2025
“Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community” by Brett McCracken is a great book to read if you’re a church person or if you’ve become somewhat detached and frustrated with the church. McCracken challenges all of us, conservatives and progressives, to think about the WHY behind Christian community and one of the fundamentals of finding the WHY is approaching it with humility. Maybe you having it your way and telling everyone else they’re wrong wasn’t exactly what Christ had in mind when He instituted the church. iPhones and iPads seem to have morphed into iChurch in a sense. American culture has turned Christ’s church into a business that caters to our comforts aesthetically, relationally, and politically. It’s made us consumers, critics, and reviewers of the Church rather than servants of THE Kingdom. It’s not wrong to have preferences and to like some things better than others. Music, décor, and speaking style are all over the spectrum at different churches, but he argues that the point of picking a church and serving in it should be less about does it meet my needs and more about whether I’m showing up and using this place along with this group to glorify God. He annoyed me in parts because he steps on my toes but maybe we need that a little more often. If you’re disenfranchised with the status quo and you feel like it’d be good to be challenged about church then go grab “Uncomfortable” by Brett McCrackin.

Look for Beautiful Things

By Daniel Crosby • April 28, 2025
Look for beautiful things when you're restless, uncomfortable, or on edge. There's something about acknowledging the good around us that helps us reset and realize that it's not all bad. If you're struggling to see beautiful things in the world, come see me and we can talk more about it. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"The Needs of the Heart" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • April 24, 2025
“The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd is a book that will blow your mind. When I picked it up, it’s a very small thin book. Less than 100 pages. I assumed I’d breeze through it in a couple of hours. About a month later I finished digesting it. The truth is we cannot fully live the life God has called us to unless we acknowledge that we do have needs, that these needs are good, and discover the healthy ways of meeting these needs. Chip takes common human needs like Security and Accomplishment and he unpacks what they really are pointing us to in his typical concise but brilliant depth. There’s no fluff here. With chapters just 3-4 pages each, you’re going to want to have a highlighter ready to underline, to ponder these topics, and maybe then to discuss them with someone you know and trust. You’ll come away from this book with a deeper sense what is already fulfilled within you and ones that might be lacking where you need to go do a deep dive with a lot of prayer and introspection. If you liked Chip’s book “The Voice of the Heart,” this is one is your next read. Go grab “The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd.