What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 11


What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)


I say half-jokingly to all the couples that see me for premarital counseling: “There will come a time in your marriage when you wonder if you’ve made a BIG mistake in marrying your spouse.”


Marriage is hard. What do you expect when you take two flawed people and put them in that proximity to one another to try to create a life together?


There comes a point, though, where permanently ending the marriage becomes a real possibility in one or both your minds.


Here are several things to consider:


1. SEEK COUNSEL – If you haven’t talked to a wise friend, a pastor, or especially a counselor at length about your decision then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


2. RESET YOUR EXPECTATIONS – You aren’t ready to file for divorce if you haven’t tried to shed past disappoints of what you pictured marriage to be. Your expectations could be accurate, but they could also be unrealistic.


3. WORK ON YOURSELF – If you haven’t looked in the mirror and asked, “What have I negatively contributed to the failing of our marriage?” AND tried to resolve those flaws, then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


4. BE PATIENT – If you haven’t given ample time for your marriage to improve while working the above ideas then you aren’t ready to file for divorce. How long is long enough? Probably a lot longer than you think it is. Maybe years!


***A Note on Abuse: If you’re in a truly abusive marriage then get out now! Find a friend or family member to stay with and find safety. Collect your thoughts and begin working the items above to determine whether it’s worth pursuing.


HOMEWORK: Think back on the first time you and your spouse met. Journal the story of your first date together and reminisce. How does that feel to think back on that memory? At one point, you saw something in your spouse that made you fall in love and want to spend your life with them.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

The #1 Symptom of High Functioning Depression

By Daniel Crosby • August 11, 2025
The #1 Symptom of Depression If you find yourself beginning to isolate from others, then you may be teetering into high functioning depression. I put it as #1 because it can stir up a lot of the other symptoms. That’s because isolation does 3 things to us: 1. Isolation increases negative self-talk – • When I don’t have others around me who will challenge my negativity with the truth then I tend to assume my negativity is the truth. 2. Isolation decreases the chance of having positive experiences – • When I am by myself, the chances of new ideas, new encouragement, and new successes is limited. 3. Isolation creates a lack of accountability to achieve – • When I don’t have accountability to push me and to sharpen me, I often continue in the same dull direction. Proverbs says, “As Iron sharpens iron so does one man sharpen another.” If you find yourself creeping into depression, find ways of reconnecting. Homework: • Commit to getting back in church for 5 Sundays in a row. • Find a group of people who enjoy walking, biking, or going to the gym and join them. • Go grab lunch with a group of coworkers. And hey, if all else fails and you want to dig deeper, give me a call and we can get something scheduled.

What is High Functioning Depression?

By Daniel Crosby • August 4, 2025
What is High Functioning Depression? If you’re the person who gets crap done, shows up for your family, runs your business, and keeps pushing—even when you feel dead inside—this might hit home. You might be struggling with this thing called DEPRESSION. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It doesn’t always look like crying in bed or missing work. In fact, it often looks like achievement. Busyness. Holding it all together. But inside? You’re worn out. Numb. And starting to wonder if something’s wrong with you. Let’s talk about what this high-functioning form of depression IS and what it IS NOT. It’s NOT: • Laziness or weakness • Just being tired from a long week • Something you can fix by "sucking it up and pushing through” It IS: • Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected, even when life looks good • Going through the motions—parenting, working, providing—but not feeling present • Quietly wondering: “Why do I feel this way when I have so much?” You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. High-functioning depression is real. And it’s more common than you think—especially in men who lead, provide, and never let anyone see them sweat. Homework: Take 5 minutes at the end of your day to answer this one question in a journal or your Notes app: “What did I feel today—beneath the work, the schedule, the routine?” You don’t have to keep white-knuckling your way through life. You can feel better. And we’ll talk more about how—right here, each week. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"Man's Search for Meaning" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • August 3, 2025
“Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl ought to be a must read for everyone because of its historical significance as well as the brilliance in what it teaches us. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist during World War 2 and suffered imprisonment in a concentration camp for most of the war. The first half of the book is a detailed account of the horrors he suffered at the hand of the Nazi’s in the camps. What makes it most interesting is his perspective as an expert student in human behavior, not only of his captors, but also of his fellow sufferers. The second half of the book lays out his psychological theory. This is where it gets a little more geeky and heady. Out of his experiences, he developed what he termed “logotherapy,” which sought to help people find meaning in their lives. He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to most mental health struggles. There are 3 ways in which we must derive meaning in life: 1. Contributing to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. 2. Experiencing the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. 3. Choosing a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. So go read this one. You’ll get a lot out of the first half about his experiences in the concentration camps even if you’re not a counseling nerd like me that is fascinated by logotherapy. “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl.