How to Coparent During/After a Divorce (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 12


How to Coparent During/After a Divorce (90 Second Read)


Even if you know divorce was the right decision, that doesn’t mean that you, your former spouse, and especially your kids aren’t deeply saddened by all of these changes. It can be devastating.


Here are several MUSTS to remember to help your kids through the process:


1. BE UNIFIED – This sounds weird right? You got divorced because you can’t stand your former spouse. Guess what? You’re still both just as important to your kids as you were before you divorced. They need to know that they have a Mom and a Dad that have their backs, love them, and will fight FOR them.


2. BE CONSISTENT – Try to have the same rules in both homes, the same bedtimes, the same homework expectations, the same screen time limits, the same chores, etc. Try to make it as seamless for the kids as possible during this tough transition.


3. DO NOT PUT KIDS IN THE MIDDLE – Kids are not counselors. Kids are not attorneys. Kids are not best friends. Kids are not messengers. Kids are not accountants. Kids are not spouse spies. Take emotions, legalities, venting, communication, finances, and spouse spying off the kids’ backs.


4. CHECK IN REGULARLY – Just because a child hasn’t talked about the divorce or their feelings lately doesn’t mean they are no longer struggling. Sometimes kids want permission to talk about what they’re feeling and struggling with. We can give them permission by regularly asking them how they’re doing by asking specific questions.


HOMEWORK: After you’re divorced, you need to communicate MORE with your former spouse about the kids. Try to set a regular scheduled weekly phone call/email to communicate important dates, deadlines, expectations, etc. so you can both be there for your kids.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Uncomfortable" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • May 7, 2025
“Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community” by Brett McCracken is a great book to read if you’re a church person or if you’ve become somewhat detached and frustrated with the church. McCracken challenges all of us, conservatives and progressives, to think about the WHY behind Christian community and one of the fundamentals of finding the WHY is approaching it with humility. Maybe you having it your way and telling everyone else they’re wrong wasn’t exactly what Christ had in mind when He instituted the church. iPhones and iPads seem to have morphed into iChurch in a sense. American culture has turned Christ’s church into a business that caters to our comforts aesthetically, relationally, and politically. It’s made us consumers, critics, and reviewers of the Church rather than servants of THE Kingdom. It’s not wrong to have preferences and to like some things better than others. Music, décor, and speaking style are all over the spectrum at different churches, but he argues that the point of picking a church and serving in it should be less about does it meet my needs and more about whether I’m showing up and using this place along with this group to glorify God. He annoyed me in parts because he steps on my toes but maybe we need that a little more often. If you’re disenfranchised with the status quo and you feel like it’d be good to be challenged about church then go grab “Uncomfortable” by Brett McCrackin.

Look for Beautiful Things

By Daniel Crosby • April 28, 2025
Look for beautiful things when you're restless, uncomfortable, or on edge. There's something about acknowledging the good around us that helps us reset and realize that it's not all bad. If you're struggling to see beautiful things in the world, come see me and we can talk more about it. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"The Needs of the Heart" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • April 24, 2025
“The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd is a book that will blow your mind. When I picked it up, it’s a very small thin book. Less than 100 pages. I assumed I’d breeze through it in a couple of hours. About a month later I finished digesting it. The truth is we cannot fully live the life God has called us to unless we acknowledge that we do have needs, that these needs are good, and discover the healthy ways of meeting these needs. Chip takes common human needs like Security and Accomplishment and he unpacks what they really are pointing us to in his typical concise but brilliant depth. There’s no fluff here. With chapters just 3-4 pages each, you’re going to want to have a highlighter ready to underline, to ponder these topics, and maybe then to discuss them with someone you know and trust. You’ll come away from this book with a deeper sense what is already fulfilled within you and ones that might be lacking where you need to go do a deep dive with a lot of prayer and introspection. If you liked Chip’s book “The Voice of the Heart,” this is one is your next read. Go grab “The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd.