How to Deal with Financial Problems in Your Marriage (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 6


How to Deal with Financial Problems in Your Marriage (2 Minute Read)


Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a disagreement about money in your relationship?


Don’t be embarrassed. Did you know that money fights and money problems are the #1 cause of marital conflict in the U.S.?


The good news about that is if you and your spouse can get on the same page with money then you’re well on your way to handling many other issues in your marriage.


There are 2 main sources of money conflict in a marriage:


1. We don’t consider our spouse’s MONEY MINDSET.


Are you the SPENDER or the SAVER in your relationship?

SPENDERS see money as fun, freedom, and opportunity.

SAVERS see money as safety, security, and stability.

Can you see how these could clash in the middle if you don’t understand the other’s mindset and goals? Begin to see the benefit of the other person’s perspective and how that could be of great value in your marriage.

Personally, I often say that my wife makes me a lot more fun with money and I make her a lot more responsible with money. We both need each other.


2. We don’t have a PLAN on how to MANAGE our money TOGETHER.


We often believe that the answer lies in more income. Unfortunately, there’s a concept called “life creep” that describes what happens when we make more. Our lifestyle creeps up based upon our income level creeping up. So, while the brain surgeon makes more than the gas station attendant, oftentimes both struggle with managing finances in their homes and their marriages. The answer lies in having a PLAN. This is a really boring solution, but you and your spouse need to sit down before the month begins and create a PLAN for next month. Whether you’re earning $2,000 or $20,000 per month, if you don’t agree TOGETHER on a PLAN for where your money is going then the money will just seem to vanish.


Homework: Recognize who is a saver and who is a spender. Text or call your spouse right now and say, “Hey, I think we need to sit down and make a plan for our money next month. Will you do that with me?” You won’t do it perfectly the first time, but you need to begin somewhere.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 16, 2025
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen is interesting. It’s one of those books where you need to grab hold of the concepts that are of benefit and toss the ones that aren’t. There’s some new-agey stuff in it that sounded like fluff to me but I had one big takeaway that I’ll use. Here it is: THOUGHTS are great! THINKING can become problematic. When you have a thought, that is neutral. It’s a fact. It’s what we do with that thought that then becomes helpful or harmful. When I take that factual thought and I begin over THINKING, JUDGING myself, SPIRALING into worst case scenarios, then the thought ceases to be productive. I’m confessing to you here. I’m raising my right hand. “Hi, my name is Daniel and I am an overthinker.” And then the crowd at the meeting replied I unison, “Hi Daniel.” Accept the thought but keep an eye on it because if the thought begins to get squirely and become self-critical or catastrophize then we need to snap ourselves back to reality. He gives you a little practical help with this but it’s only a 2 hour audiobook so it’s limited. Hey, that’s why you should come see me for counseling though. As an overthinker, we can work together to find ways to help your overthinking. It’s worth a read though. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen.

"Born Again This Way" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 2, 2025
“Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson is a beautiful and deeply personal book about her struggle between her identity in the LGBT community and how that came into conflict when she became a person of faith. Talk about two very polarizing ideas in our world today! I would say it’s ½ memoir and ½ theology in its makeup. Gilson doesn’t hold back from getting into the nitty gritty of her own story as well as the Christian scriptures. The book is pointed but respectful. I can’t see any well-meaning person coming away from it offended. Sure, there are those who will read it and disagree with her ideas. It will sadden some and give hope to others. I’ve said before that we need to be reading things that challenge us. Read things to sharpen your beliefs. This means you should read a lot of things that are IN alignment with your beliefs so you can further clarify them. Also, read something that opposes your beliefs though. If we always live in our own echo chamber/ algorithm how will be learn how to interact with people who believe differently than we do. This is a great one for families lovingly trying to understand a child wrestling with LGBT ideas. This is a great one if you have friends in the LGBT community and wonder if or how to approach matters of faith. This is a good one for those in the LGBT community who want to read something from a Christian who bridges that divide that often exists. It’s a good one! “Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson.

"The Elephant in the Room" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • June 25, 2025
“The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to get Smaller in a Growing America” by Tommy Tomlinson might be my must read book of the year. It’s a beautiful memoir by Tomlinson, a coastal Georgia native, and a journalist by trade. He tells his story through the lens of his lifelong struggle with his weight. If you live in the south, then food is at the center of everything. We grieve with food, celebrate with food, and medicate with food. Heck, sometimes we’re sitting at the table gorging ourselves for lunch as we’re discussing plans for dinner. The book is hilarious in parts and heart breaking in other parts. It reminded me that everyone has a story behind who they are. We all have junk. He reminded me that some people’s stuff is internal. They look amazing on the outside but they’re crumbling inside. Other people’s stuff is external on display for the whole world to see though. What if rather than prejudging those we meet, we come alongside them and share our stuff. There’s something about knowing someone’s story that levels the playing field. If you struggle with weight, then this book is going to hit home. If you have a friend or family member who struggles with weight, then you need to read this one so you can better connect. If none of the above is true, you need to read this one because it’s an amazing story of a man who has a similar story to the rest of us. You’ll laugh and cry but most of all you’re connect with another person who is on this same journey we’re all on. Go read “The Elephant in the Room” by Tommy Tomlinson.