How to Deal with In-laws in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 7


How to Deal with In-laws in a Marriage (90 Second Read) 

 

I’ll simply give you 2 words that are at the core of challenges with In-laws:


EXPECTATIONS and COMMUNICATION


1. EXPECTATIONS


“My family always goes out to a restaurant to celebrate birthday dinners.”


“My family doesn’t use credit cards and saves up and pays cash for everything.”


The definitions of “NORMAL” is “The way I’m used to doing it.” What happens when you get married, though, and you join with a family whose NORMAL is different?


Sitting down with your spouse and determining what OUR MARRIED NORMAL is will set OUR expectations in OUR marriage.


2. COMMUNICATION


Neil Strauss said, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”


It is the wife’s job to communicate with her family and the husband’s job to communicate with his family. You know best how your family works and interacts and you need to take responsibility for your side of the family and to present you and your spouse as a unified front.


“WE have decided to limit TV time for the kids this summer so WE’D appreciate it if you would do the same when you’re watching them mom.”


“WE are working to get out of debt so WE may just do a small staycation this year rather than do the big family trip to the beach with everyone.”


You may get some pushback, but if you’re in agreement with your MARRIED NORMAL then you will be better able to survive the ruffled feathers that may begin to fly.


HOMEWORK: Determine which areas have been tense with the in-laws and then determine your married normal and decide how best to communicate that to the family.


 As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.


Depression and Movement
By Daniel Crosby September 8, 2025
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.
Depression and Routine Habits
By Daniel Crosby September 1, 2025
Depression + Routine Habits Ask any Kindergarten teacher if structure and routine is important. I think we crave comfort and consistency of what we know because it makes us feel safe. We like our favorite food at our favorite restaurant and we sit in the same place at church most of the time. But when depression hits, it can throw off our healthy routines and even spiral us into unhealthy habits. If you’re battling some depression you might be letting some stuff slide, like cleaning the house, eating healthy, or getting to work on time. 3 Ways to Reignite Healthy Routines: 1. Write it down – • Write down a checklist of to-do items the night before for what I plan to accomplish the next day. These can be big goal like filing your taxes or small personal hygiene goals like brushing your teeth. 2. Use accountability – • Piggyback onto someone else’s routine. If you know your buddy goes to the gym every morning at 5am, ask if he will call you every morning for a month until you create your own habit. 3. Reward consistency, not intensity, growth, or perfection – • We’re looking for reps. So what if you didn’t talk to anyone at church or sign up to serve in the children’s ministry. You showed up 5 Sundays in a row! That’s fantastic! Now go get ice cream! Homework: Pick one thing you need to get back into the routine of doing and try one of ideas above and tell us how you did.
By Daniel Crosby August 25, 2025
Depression + Meaning Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist during WW2, was imprisoned in a concentration camp for most of the war and when the war ended he wrote a book titled “Man’s Search for Meaning.” He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to depression. Out of his experiences, he developed a therapy technique to help people find meaning in their lives. So if a lack of meaning is fueling some of your depression, here’s what Dr. Frankl would suggest. 1. Contribute to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. • You were created for a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. What is it? 2. Experience the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. • You were created to live, not to scroll. What did you experience today that made you feel alive? 3. Choose a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. • You were created to be resilient and live in hope. What hard thing have you overcome because you are strong? Homework: • I want you to write down which of those 3 might be lacking in your life right now. • Then I want you to write down one small way that you can go meet that need for meaning in your life.