How to Deal with In-laws in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 7


How to Deal with In-laws in a Marriage (90 Second Read) 

 

I’ll simply give you 2 words that are at the core of challenges with In-laws:


EXPECTATIONS and COMMUNICATION


1. EXPECTATIONS


“My family always goes out to a restaurant to celebrate birthday dinners.”


“My family doesn’t use credit cards and saves up and pays cash for everything.”


The definitions of “NORMAL” is “The way I’m used to doing it.” What happens when you get married, though, and you join with a family whose NORMAL is different?


Sitting down with your spouse and determining what OUR MARRIED NORMAL is will set OUR expectations in OUR marriage.


2. COMMUNICATION


Neil Strauss said, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”


It is the wife’s job to communicate with her family and the husband’s job to communicate with his family. You know best how your family works and interacts and you need to take responsibility for your side of the family and to present you and your spouse as a unified front.


“WE have decided to limit TV time for the kids this summer so WE’D appreciate it if you would do the same when you’re watching them mom.”


“WE are working to get out of debt so WE may just do a small staycation this year rather than do the big family trip to the beach with everyone.”


You may get some pushback, but if you’re in agreement with your MARRIED NORMAL then you will be better able to survive the ruffled feathers that may begin to fly.


HOMEWORK: Determine which areas have been tense with the in-laws and then determine your married normal and decide how best to communicate that to the family.


 As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.


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Graphic for Daniel Crosby Counseling, text states
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