How to Cope With Tragedy (3 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • March 28, 2023

THE PROBLEM:

Whether it’s a natural disaster like the recent tornadoes in Mississippi or a community tragedy like the recent school shooting in Nashville, we’re left reeling and wrestling with what to do with the pain and hurt. Where do we turn for answers?


THE CONNECTION:

The most important thing we need right now is one another. We need connection. These are situations that no one can understand and to feel confusion in the midst of them is…human.


If you’re feeling angry, confused, sad, or hopeless then:


  • You are just like the rest of us - There’s no script for these tragedies or how to respond perfectly. No one has this all figured out. It doesn’t make sense to any of us and we’re all sighing in frustration.
  • You are probably functioning just like God designed you to function. Your confusion comes from the way God wired you to problem solve yet your brain and heart can’t line up and solve this.
  • You feel compelled to do something but you don’t know what to do.


THE KIDS:

It becomes even more challenging to know how to help our kids manage it because they certainly feel out of control.


  • Your kids want your permission to feel what they’re feeling. They don’t know what to feel or may wonder if what they’re feeling is right or not.
  • Tell your kids WHAT you’re feeling whether it’s sadness, anger, or confusion. It’s good to show weakness and vulnerability to your kids. Putting on a strong and stoic front could send the message that having painful feelings is wrong.
  • Tell them WHY you’re feeling that way. It sometimes helps others if we use language that can help them label something that may feel unidentifiable to them.
  • It’s ok if you don’t know the answer to their question. Let them know that they’re not in it alone. We’re both feeling it together.
  • Reassure them that they’re safe with you and they can come to you to talk about what they’re feeling anytime.
  • Don’t make it a one-off conversation. Check back in with them regularly in the coming days and weeks.


THE SOLUTION:

It’s normal to feel outrage and want to begin pointing fingers to find out who is responsible. This will happen in the coming days and weeks. Just wait for the news media and politicians to begin to capitalize on this tragedy.


“It’s the Republicans’ fault for not passing more gun control legislation.”


“It’s the Democrats’ fault for propagating a culture of mental health brokenness and confusion.”


“It’s the school’s fault for not having a gated campus with a safety fence around the whole property to keep people out.” (Yep, I saw this one on social media already.)

 

I think back to 9/11 when tragedy struck and we briefly became a people more focused on God. For a moment, He became the solution. There’s something wired into us that makes us want to look to something or Someone bigger than ourselves when things feel out of control. Deep down we want to know we don’t have to be control. Humanity struggles when we try to be our own gods.


The solution is CONNECTION:

with our hurt,

with our loved ones,

with our God.


THE FINAL WORD:

I say it often: “The thing that is worse than hurting it hurting alone.”


Grab someone today and hug them. Put aside a petty squabble that you’ve been hanging onto, apologize, and move on. Call a friend or a family member and tell them you love them.


Most of all, look to God who is the One who is able to empathize with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15) and who is close to us when we are brokenhearted and saves us when we are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).


Depression and Movement

Depression and Movement

By Daniel Crosby • September 8, 2025
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.
Depression and Routine Habits

Depression and Routine Habits

By Daniel Crosby • September 1, 2025
Depression + Routine Habits Ask any Kindergarten teacher if structure and routine is important. I think we crave comfort and consistency of what we know because it makes us feel safe. We like our favorite food at our favorite restaurant and we sit in the same place at church most of the time. But when depression hits, it can throw off our healthy routines and even spiral us into unhealthy habits. If you’re battling some depression you might be letting some stuff slide, like cleaning the house, eating healthy, or getting to work on time. 3 Ways to Reignite Healthy Routines: 1. Write it down – • Write down a checklist of to-do items the night before for what I plan to accomplish the next day. These can be big goal like filing your taxes or small personal hygiene goals like brushing your teeth. 2. Use accountability – • Piggyback onto someone else’s routine. If you know your buddy goes to the gym every morning at 5am, ask if he will call you every morning for a month until you create your own habit. 3. Reward consistency, not intensity, growth, or perfection – • We’re looking for reps. So what if you didn’t talk to anyone at church or sign up to serve in the children’s ministry. You showed up 5 Sundays in a row! That’s fantastic! Now go get ice cream! Homework: Pick one thing you need to get back into the routine of doing and try one of ideas above and tell us how you did.

Depression and Meaning

By Daniel Crosby • August 25, 2025
Depression + Meaning Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist during WW2, was imprisoned in a concentration camp for most of the war and when the war ended he wrote a book titled “Man’s Search for Meaning.” He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to depression. Out of his experiences, he developed a therapy technique to help people find meaning in their lives. So if a lack of meaning is fueling some of your depression, here’s what Dr. Frankl would suggest. 1. Contribute to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. • You were created for a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. What is it? 2. Experience the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. • You were created to live, not to scroll. What did you experience today that made you feel alive? 3. Choose a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. • You were created to be resilient and live in hope. What hard thing have you overcome because you are strong? Homework: • I want you to write down which of those 3 might be lacking in your life right now. • Then I want you to write down one small way that you can go meet that need for meaning in your life.