How to Deal with Grief and Loss in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 13


How to Deal with Grief and Loss in a Marriage (90 Second Read)


If you’re married long enough, you’re going to deal with grief and loss with your spouse.


It could be loss of a parent, loss of a job, loss of a child, or many other things that life throws at us.


There are three things that are pivotal between married spouses to help during these tough times.


1. MERCY – Mercy is the idea that we are lenient and compassionate to our spouse who isn’t at their best right now. If your spouse has a short temper, they aren’t as productive around the house as they usually are, or their mind just seems preoccupied with other things show them mercy. Let things slide and give them space. You may have to pick up the slack a little for awhile.


2. ENCOURAGEMENT – When we’re grieving a loss it is draining. Emotionally, mentally, and physically your spouse will be zapped of energy and motivation. That means they need to borrow some encouragement from you. Offer more love, positivity, and closeness if they need help filling up their heart.


3. TIME – It takes time. Our culture sucks at grief and loss. It’s a day or two of bereavement leave and then we’re expected to be back at 100%. How long is long enough to show extra mercy and be extra encouraging? Every situation is different but it’s probably longer than you think. Everyone grieves at a different pace. Check in with one another and ask, “How are you doing?” Give the other person a chance to be real and vulnerable about where they are in the process.


***Note: In the event of the loss of a child, both spouses will be going through this at the same time. Trouble comes when each spouse expects the other to grieve like them or on their timeline. Mercy, Encouragement, and Time become that much more important in these instances.


HOMEWORK: If you’re spouse in the midst of dealing with a loss, gently ask your them what you could do that would help. If they don’t know, you can’t go wrong with lovingly checking in on them every so often to show that you still care and you’re supporting them through it.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

Depression and Nutrition

Depression and Nutrition (Part 1)

By Daniel Crosby • September 22, 2025
Depression + Nutrition (PART 1) Today we’re talking about the obvious. If you eat crap you’re going to feel like crap. I’m not preaching at you. I do it to. No shame here. I would eat a family sized bag of chips everyday for lunch if I could. The way we feel is directly tied to what we eat though. It’s like fuel for the car. If you get some bad fuel it’s going to mess your engine up. So what are some of the things killing us? 1. Energy drinks - • Horrible for depression! They’re full of artificial chemicals and they cause you to spike and then crash. I have clients who are legitimately addicted to these just like someone is addicted to cocaine or heroin. 2. Marijuana - • It’s not really a food unless you’re using edibles, but I’m tired of people trying to convince me that marijuana is good for you. Marijuana might be one of the biggest contributors to your depression if you’re a regular user. • Warning: If you’re taking depression or anxiety medication while using marijuana, your brain is probably the most confused thing on the planet. 3. Ultraprocessed foods - • This is pretty much anything sold in a gas station or anything that has an expiration date of more than a week or two. If it hasn’t been cooked the day you ate it then it is probably not contributing positively to your brain chemistry. Homework: Download the Yuka App. It’s free, you can scan any barcode, and it will tell you how healthy a food is on a scale of 0-100. It will also make recommendations for healthier alternatives for low scoring foods. It’s a lot of fun to play around with in your pantry.
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Depression and Self Talk

By Daniel Crosby • September 15, 2025
Depression + Self-Talk Can you hear that little voice in your head? It’s the one when you’re at the grocery store and you were supposed to get 3 things and you can’t remember the 3rd thing. “Dang it, what was that last thing that I needed to get? It wasn’t milk because we have milk. Was it something in the produce section? Ugh, I can’t remember.” Psychologist Ethan Kross write a book about this called “Chatter.” Chatter is when normal factual self-talk changes to darker more accusatory and judgmental words. “You screw everything up. Can’t you ever do anything right?” “No one else struggles with this and here you are frozen and stuck in it doing the same stupid thing over and over again. You’re so pathetic.” Chatter is only going to fuel your depression. Here are 3 ways to quiet the chatter in your head: 1. Separate FACT from ASSUMPTION – • It can only officially be a FACT if someone else has literally said it to you. I heard a quote recently that said, “Imposter syndrome is the fear that other people are judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself.” They aren’t. 2. Identify Negative Beliefs and where they came from – • Negative Beliefs sound like “I” Statements. “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unworthy of love.” You might want to find a good counselor to help you work through these. 3. Journaling – • Write down a response to your own chatter as if you were responding to a friend who came to you asking your opinion about their inner voice. We’re usually kinder to others than we are to ourselves unfortunately. Homework: Take 60 seconds and think about which Negative Belief seems to pop up in your head most often to keep depression alive and well? We all have at least one. What’s yours?
Depression and Movement

Depression and Movement

By Daniel Crosby • September 8, 2025
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.