Help Heal My Marriage - 13. Unconditional Love
Daniel Crosby • January 21, 2025
13. Unconditional Love
Does unconditional love exist? I believe it does…
…BUT…
…“But Daniel, I truly loved a person in my past and you can’t imagine the hurt they put me through. I just can’t love them anymore.”
I would argue that the reason you are hurting so much is BECAUSE you love them. Oftentimes the deeper the love, the more the hurt can occur. When we love deeply and open ourselves up vulnerably, we also open ourselves up to deep disappointment.
While I believe Unconditional Love DOES exist, I also believe that Unconditional Boundaries should not.
Part of loving someone is and being loved by them is knowing where the lines are. As the saying goes, “Good fences make good neighbors.” This is true in all relationships.
It is possible to love someone deeply and have to draw a line in what we will and will not tolerate and accept from that person.
It is possible to love someone unconditionally and even have to end that relationship.
Here are 3 ways to practice loving unconditionally:
1. Forgive freely – constantly trying to collect an old debt isn’t unconditional love. We must forgive in order to love freely.
2. Communicate clearly – Neil Strauss said, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.” Be clear in what you expect out of those you love.
3. Accept openly – Recognize that you nor your spouse is perfect. You have just as many annoying things as they do. Love them for who they are.
It’s Go Time:
Do a quick 60 second assessment of your marriage. Ask: “What have I not forgiven?” “What have I not communicated?” “What am I not accepting?” “What boundaries haven’t been set that probably need to be moving forward?”
Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know. daniel@danielcrosbycounseling.com

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