"Created for Connection" Book Review
Daniel Crosby • January 15, 2025
“Created for Connection” by Sue Johnson is a book very similar to one I reviewed last year, “Hold me Tight.” In fact, it’s the same book, except it approaches the topic from a Christian perspective.
Jump on my website or social media and look back on the “Hold me Tight” book review.
Sue Johnson is the founder of the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) model of couples counseling. It has a proven track record of helping couples work through distress in their relationships with success rated in the 80-90% range.
“Created for Connection” take’s Johnson’s EFT framework and teaches it in a clear understandable way that anyone can follow. It also interweaves ideas from the Christian faith and scripture that shows how the framework, while not founded as a faith based treatment, really aligns with what the Christian reads in their Bible. She welcomes Kenneth Sanderfer on as a contributor in this version as he adds many of the Christian ideas and components.
Most Christians would agree that they find healing through their faith and this is also true within their marriages. Christians read in Genesis where life began with a marriage in a garden and the Bible ends with a wedding feast between the church and Christ.
If marriage is this important to God then we must continue to invest in finding hope and healing in our marriages. “Created for Connection” isn’t a fluffy Christian self-help book, but a guide to begin wading through the deeper waters of why your marriage is unwell, how to identify your part of the problem, and what to do to repair it.
There are ample stories and case studies throughout to make it readable, relatable, and entertaining.
If you want to dive into the inner struggles of your marriage then go grab “Created for Connection” by Sue Johnson.
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.
Depression + Routine Habits Ask any Kindergarten teacher if structure and routine is important. I think we crave comfort and consistency of what we know because it makes us feel safe. We like our favorite food at our favorite restaurant and we sit in the same place at church most of the time. But when depression hits, it can throw off our healthy routines and even spiral us into unhealthy habits. If you’re battling some depression you might be letting some stuff slide, like cleaning the house, eating healthy, or getting to work on time. 3 Ways to Reignite Healthy Routines: 1. Write it down – • Write down a checklist of to-do items the night before for what I plan to accomplish the next day. These can be big goal like filing your taxes or small personal hygiene goals like brushing your teeth. 2. Use accountability – • Piggyback onto someone else’s routine. If you know your buddy goes to the gym every morning at 5am, ask if he will call you every morning for a month until you create your own habit. 3. Reward consistency, not intensity, growth, or perfection – • We’re looking for reps. So what if you didn’t talk to anyone at church or sign up to serve in the children’s ministry. You showed up 5 Sundays in a row! That’s fantastic! Now go get ice cream! Homework: Pick one thing you need to get back into the routine of doing and try one of ideas above and tell us how you did.
Depression + Meaning Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist during WW2, was imprisoned in a concentration camp for most of the war and when the war ended he wrote a book titled “Man’s Search for Meaning.” He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to depression. Out of his experiences, he developed a therapy technique to help people find meaning in their lives. So if a lack of meaning is fueling some of your depression, here’s what Dr. Frankl would suggest. 1. Contribute to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. • You were created for a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. What is it? 2. Experience the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. • You were created to live, not to scroll. What did you experience today that made you feel alive? 3. Choose a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. • You were created to be resilient and live in hope. What hard thing have you overcome because you are strong? Homework: • I want you to write down which of those 3 might be lacking in your life right now. • Then I want you to write down one small way that you can go meet that need for meaning in your life.
