3 Ways to Fight Off Holiday Loneliness (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • November 28, 2022

LONELINESS is a common and perhaps unexpected heavy feeling that pops up around the holidays. This one may come as a surprise because the holidays are a time when we’re surrounded by others and feel like we supposed to be enjoying the fun and festivities.


There’s a difference in being “alone” and feeling “lonely” though. Feeling lonely is about feeling disconnected, misunderstood, or out of place.


Common Causes of Loneliness


Maybe you’ve gone through a divorce.

Maybe you’ve lost a baby.

Maybe you’ve lost a loved one this year.

Maybe your marriage is teetering on the edge right now.

Maybe you are trying to find that person to share your life with and you just keep coming up empty handed.

Maybe you’ve fallen prey to the old comparison game where others just seem to have it better.


The Remedy


The remedy to loneliness is CONNECTION. That doesn’t just mean being surrounded by people but actually being with people who hear us, understand us, and care about us.


Go Connect


If you’re lacking these people in your life then search out a group that has common interests or a common belief system. Church groups or hobby groups are great places to connect. Car clubs, Mom’s groups, Celebrate Recovery groups.


Go Serve


One of the best ways to connect and ward off those lonely feelings is by giving to others. You may find that by serving you are able to connect with other servers and also gain new perspective on your own hurt. Greenhouse Ministries, Journey Home, and Boys and Girl’s Club are a few in addition to churches in our area.


Get Moving


Exercise, while it can be solitary or with a group, gets us reconnected with ourselves. It’s time away from the busyness of the world to reset, feel like you did something good for you, and to just think.


If you’re or someone you know is struggling with loneliness and want more ideas on how to cope and reconnect, please reach out. Counseling can be a great way to begin that process toward feeling better again. I’m here to help.


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By Daniel Crosby September 15, 2025
Depression + Self-Talk Can you hear that little voice in your head? It’s the one when you’re at the grocery store and you were supposed to get 3 things and you can’t remember the 3rd thing. “Dang it, what was that last thing that I needed to get? It wasn’t milk because we have milk. Was it something in the produce section? Ugh, I can’t remember.” Psychologist Ethan Kross write a book about this called “Chatter.” Chatter is when normal factual self-talk changes to darker more accusatory and judgmental words. “You screw everything up. Can’t you ever do anything right?” “No one else struggles with this and here you are frozen and stuck in it doing the same stupid thing over and over again. You’re so pathetic.” Chatter is only going to fuel your depression. Here are 3 ways to quiet the chatter in your head: 1. Separate FACT from ASSUMPTION – • It can only officially be a FACT if someone else has literally said it to you. I heard a quote recently that said, “Imposter syndrome is the fear that other people are judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself.” They aren’t. 2. Identify Negative Beliefs and where they came from – • Negative Beliefs sound like “I” Statements. “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unworthy of love.” You might want to find a good counselor to help you work through these. 3. Journaling – • Write down a response to your own chatter as if you were responding to a friend who came to you asking your opinion about their inner voice. We’re usually kinder to others than we are to ourselves unfortunately. Homework: Take 60 seconds and think about which Negative Belief seems to pop up in your head most often to keep depression alive and well? We all have at least one. What’s yours?
Depression and Movement
By Daniel Crosby September 8, 2025
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.
Depression and Routine Habits
By Daniel Crosby September 1, 2025
Depression + Routine Habits Ask any Kindergarten teacher if structure and routine is important. I think we crave comfort and consistency of what we know because it makes us feel safe. We like our favorite food at our favorite restaurant and we sit in the same place at church most of the time. But when depression hits, it can throw off our healthy routines and even spiral us into unhealthy habits. If you’re battling some depression you might be letting some stuff slide, like cleaning the house, eating healthy, or getting to work on time. 3 Ways to Reignite Healthy Routines: 1. Write it down – • Write down a checklist of to-do items the night before for what I plan to accomplish the next day. These can be big goal like filing your taxes or small personal hygiene goals like brushing your teeth. 2. Use accountability – • Piggyback onto someone else’s routine. If you know your buddy goes to the gym every morning at 5am, ask if he will call you every morning for a month until you create your own habit. 3. Reward consistency, not intensity, growth, or perfection – • We’re looking for reps. So what if you didn’t talk to anyone at church or sign up to serve in the children’s ministry. You showed up 5 Sundays in a row! That’s fantastic! Now go get ice cream! Homework: Pick one thing you need to get back into the routine of doing and try one of ideas above and tell us how you did.