Do This ONE Thing to Improve Your Marriage (3 Minute Read)

Daniel Crosby • November 21, 2022

Every car needs maintenance. Even a brand-new car that still has that great smell needs the oil changed and the tires rotated every so often. Being intentional about car maintenance keeps that car running great for many years to come.

But what about our marriage? Life gets busy and we often don’t do that same intentional maintenance to keep our marriage running smoothly.

The MOST important regular maintenance to do on your marriage is spending quality time together.

Therefore, continuing to date your spouse is key. I often tell couples with kids that you are certainly Mom and Dad now that you have kids. You’re also Husband and Wife and run the “family business” together. The role we often let fall by the wayside is continuing that Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship even after years of marriage and parenting kids.

You need new adventures together.

I define a date as a pre-planned time that is intentionally set aside to do an activity together. This is NOT a date: “Hey, I’m starving. Want to grab a burger on the way home?”

I challenge couples to plan 10 dates per year, one each month. Each spouse should pick 5 activities (2 hours) that they would like to do with their spouse. Write your activities down on strips of paper and do a drawing on the first day of the month of what your date activity will be that month.

The other 2 months will be your anniversary month and 6 months from your anniversary month. Those months’ dates will consist of a short overnight activity out of town. Go within a day’s drive and see some new sights. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Go to Chattanooga to the TN Aquarium. Go to Memphis and eat BBQ. Go to Gatlinburg and walk the strip.

Here are some quick date ideas to get you started:

1. Have dinner at a restaurant in The Avenue that neither of you have tried yet. Follow that up with some good old-fashioned bowling at LTA or Strike and Spare.

2. Grab a cup of coffee at Joanie’s, Brass Horn, or Just Love and bring a pack of Uno cards. The best out of 5 games wins bragging rights.

3. Grab a burger at Busters or Jack Browns and then exercise your inner lumberjack at one of the axe throwing places.

4. Get a healthy smoothie at Vibe Nutrition or a bowl at Boro Bowls or The Boro Juice Bar on a Saturday morning and go for a walk on the greenway.

Send me your ideas of what you and your spouse love to do for dates.

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What is High Functioning Depression?

By Daniel Crosby • August 4, 2025

What is High Functioning Depression? If you’re the person who gets crap done, shows up for your family, runs your business, and keeps pushing—even when you feel dead inside—this might hit home. You might be struggling with this thing called DEPRESSION. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It doesn’t always look like crying in bed or missing work. In fact, it often looks like achievement. Busyness. Holding it all together. But inside? You’re worn out. Numb. And starting to wonder if something’s wrong with you. Let’s talk about what this high-functioning form of depression IS and what it IS NOT. It’s NOT: • Laziness or weakness • Just being tired from a long week • Something you can fix by "sucking it up and pushing through” It IS: • Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected, even when life looks good • Going through the motions—parenting, working, providing—but not feeling present • Quietly wondering: “Why do I feel this way when I have so much?” You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. High-functioning depression is real. And it’s more common than you think—especially in men who lead, provide, and never let anyone see them sweat. Homework: Take 5 minutes at the end of your day to answer this one question in a journal or your Notes app: “What did I feel today—beneath the work, the schedule, the routine?” You don’t have to keep white-knuckling your way through life. You can feel better. And we’ll talk more about how—right here, each week. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"Man's Search for Meaning" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • August 3, 2025

“Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl ought to be a must read for everyone because of its historical significance as well as the brilliance in what it teaches us. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist during World War 2 and suffered imprisonment in a concentration camp for most of the war. The first half of the book is a detailed account of the horrors he suffered at the hand of the Nazi’s in the camps. What makes it most interesting is his perspective as an expert student in human behavior, not only of his captors, but also of his fellow sufferers. The second half of the book lays out his psychological theory. This is where it gets a little more geeky and heady. Out of his experiences, he developed what he termed “logotherapy,” which sought to help people find meaning in their lives. He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to most mental health struggles. There are 3 ways in which we must derive meaning in life: 1. Contributing to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. 2. Experiencing the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. 3. Choosing a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. So go read this one. You’ll get a lot out of the first half about his experiences in the concentration camps even if you’re not a counseling nerd like me that is fascinated by logotherapy. “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl.

New Depression Series

By Daniel Crosby • July 28, 2025

Depression The top two things people come to counseling for are Anxiety and Depression. Nothing else even comes close. Well I’ve given you all a mountain of anxiety tips and tricks so let’s tackle the other one. Depression… I hate depression! I’m going to go ahead and declare war on it right here from the start. Maybe you’re struggling with it yourself but I know that all of us at least know someone who is. Let’s face it, life sucks sometimes. If life hasn’t kicked your butt and wrestled you into submission yet, just wait; it will at some point. The “whys” behind the anxiety and depression are literally limitless because it’s unique and it’s very personal. But this idea of depression can mean 100 different things to 100 different people So I’m planning 12 weeks of ideas and topics related to depression. Now, this information isn’t therapy. These are going to brief and to the point and they’re starter ideas meant to spark ideas within you. We’re barely scratching the surface here AND most importantly, we’re talking mostly about high-functioning depression here. We’ll define that in another post. If you’re teetering on the edge of suicide, call someone right now. Don’t wait. We kind of like having you around and we’d like to keep you around for awhile. Call or Text 988 today and real live person will connect with you. But if you’re dragging through life and just want to run away and quit, you’re going to get some good stuff out of the next 12 weeks. Finally, the algorithms in internetlandia are all based upon interaction. If you want more people to see this stuff then share it, comment on it, and interact. I’d appreciate it and I’ll see you all next week. Homework: Think of a person in your life right now that could benefit from these upcoming posts. Do you think it might help them if you shared it with them?