Do This ONE Thing to Improve Your Marriage (3 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • November 21, 2022

Every car needs maintenance. Even a brand-new car that still has that great smell needs the oil changed and the tires rotated every so often. Being intentional about car maintenance keeps that car running great for many years to come.


But what about our marriage? Life gets busy and we often don’t do that same intentional maintenance to keep our marriage running smoothly.


The MOST important regular maintenance to do on your marriage is spending quality time together.


Therefore, continuing to date your spouse is key. I often tell couples with kids that you are certainly Mom and Dad now that you have kids. You’re also Husband and Wife and run the “family business” together. The role we often let fall by the wayside is continuing that Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship even after years of marriage and parenting kids.


You need new adventures together.


I define a date as a pre-planned time that is intentionally set aside to do an activity together. This is NOT a date: “Hey, I’m starving. Want to grab a burger on the way home?”


I challenge couples to plan 10 dates per year, one each month. Each spouse should pick 5 activities (2 hours) that they would like to do with their spouse. Write your activities down on strips of paper and do a drawing on the first day of the month of what your date activity will be that month.


The other 2 months will be your anniversary month and 6 months from your anniversary month. Those months’ dates will consist of a short overnight activity out of town. Go within a day’s drive and see some new sights. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Go to Chattanooga to the TN Aquarium. Go to Memphis and eat BBQ. Go to Gatlinburg and walk the strip.


Here are some quick date ideas to get you started:

1.    Have dinner at a restaurant in The Avenue that neither of you have tried yet. Follow that up with some good old-fashioned bowling at LTA or Strike and Spare.

2.    Grab a cup of coffee at Joanie’s, Brass Horn, or Just Love and bring a pack of Uno cards. The best out of 5 games wins bragging rights.

3.    Grab a burger at Busters or Jack Browns and then exercise your inner lumberjack at one of the axe throwing places.

4.    Get a healthy smoothie at Vibe Nutrition or a bowl at Boro Bowls or The Boro Juice Bar on a Saturday morning and go for a walk on the greenway.


Send me your ideas of what you and your spouse love to do for dates.

"Uncomfortable" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • May 7, 2025
“Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community” by Brett McCracken is a great book to read if you’re a church person or if you’ve become somewhat detached and frustrated with the church. McCracken challenges all of us, conservatives and progressives, to think about the WHY behind Christian community and one of the fundamentals of finding the WHY is approaching it with humility. Maybe you having it your way and telling everyone else they’re wrong wasn’t exactly what Christ had in mind when He instituted the church. iPhones and iPads seem to have morphed into iChurch in a sense. American culture has turned Christ’s church into a business that caters to our comforts aesthetically, relationally, and politically. It’s made us consumers, critics, and reviewers of the Church rather than servants of THE Kingdom. It’s not wrong to have preferences and to like some things better than others. Music, décor, and speaking style are all over the spectrum at different churches, but he argues that the point of picking a church and serving in it should be less about does it meet my needs and more about whether I’m showing up and using this place along with this group to glorify God. He annoyed me in parts because he steps on my toes but maybe we need that a little more often. If you’re disenfranchised with the status quo and you feel like it’d be good to be challenged about church then go grab “Uncomfortable” by Brett McCrackin.

Look for Beautiful Things

By Daniel Crosby • April 28, 2025
Look for beautiful things when you're restless, uncomfortable, or on edge. There's something about acknowledging the good around us that helps us reset and realize that it's not all bad. If you're struggling to see beautiful things in the world, come see me and we can talk more about it. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"The Needs of the Heart" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • April 24, 2025
“The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd is a book that will blow your mind. When I picked it up, it’s a very small thin book. Less than 100 pages. I assumed I’d breeze through it in a couple of hours. About a month later I finished digesting it. The truth is we cannot fully live the life God has called us to unless we acknowledge that we do have needs, that these needs are good, and discover the healthy ways of meeting these needs. Chip takes common human needs like Security and Accomplishment and he unpacks what they really are pointing us to in his typical concise but brilliant depth. There’s no fluff here. With chapters just 3-4 pages each, you’re going to want to have a highlighter ready to underline, to ponder these topics, and maybe then to discuss them with someone you know and trust. You’ll come away from this book with a deeper sense what is already fulfilled within you and ones that might be lacking where you need to go do a deep dive with a lot of prayer and introspection. If you liked Chip’s book “The Voice of the Heart,” this is one is your next read. Go grab “The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd.