Do This ONE Thing to Improve Your Marriage (3 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • November 21, 2022

Every car needs maintenance. Even a brand-new car that still has that great smell needs the oil changed and the tires rotated every so often. Being intentional about car maintenance keeps that car running great for many years to come.


But what about our marriage? Life gets busy and we often don’t do that same intentional maintenance to keep our marriage running smoothly.


The MOST important regular maintenance to do on your marriage is spending quality time together.


Therefore, continuing to date your spouse is key. I often tell couples with kids that you are certainly Mom and Dad now that you have kids. You’re also Husband and Wife and run the “family business” together. The role we often let fall by the wayside is continuing that Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship even after years of marriage and parenting kids.


You need new adventures together.


I define a date as a pre-planned time that is intentionally set aside to do an activity together. This is NOT a date: “Hey, I’m starving. Want to grab a burger on the way home?”


I challenge couples to plan 10 dates per year, one each month. Each spouse should pick 5 activities (2 hours) that they would like to do with their spouse. Write your activities down on strips of paper and do a drawing on the first day of the month of what your date activity will be that month.


The other 2 months will be your anniversary month and 6 months from your anniversary month. Those months’ dates will consist of a short overnight activity out of town. Go within a day’s drive and see some new sights. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Go to Chattanooga to the TN Aquarium. Go to Memphis and eat BBQ. Go to Gatlinburg and walk the strip.


Here are some quick date ideas to get you started:

1.    Have dinner at a restaurant in The Avenue that neither of you have tried yet. Follow that up with some good old-fashioned bowling at LTA or Strike and Spare.

2.    Grab a cup of coffee at Joanie’s, Brass Horn, or Just Love and bring a pack of Uno cards. The best out of 5 games wins bragging rights.

3.    Grab a burger at Busters or Jack Browns and then exercise your inner lumberjack at one of the axe throwing places.

4.    Get a healthy smoothie at Vibe Nutrition or a bowl at Boro Bowls or The Boro Juice Bar on a Saturday morning and go for a walk on the greenway.


Send me your ideas of what you and your spouse love to do for dates.


By Daniel Crosby October 27, 2025
Depression + Professional Help So the big questions is: “How do I know when it’s time to go see a counselor about depression? When is it beyond just trying self-help strategies?” Only you know how you’re feeling internally but here are some signs that it’s time to reach out: • Suicidal thoughts – Call or Text 988 Immediately! • Can’t function with work – You don’t care that there may be consequences for poor performance and you’re slacking on deadlines • Parenting – You’ve given up on typical caretaking duties like healthy meals, cleaning up, or setting healthy boundaries with the kids • Finances – You have a “screw it” mentality where you stop budgeting and just spend to try to find happiness OR You stop paying bills altogether • Hygiene – Your personal hygiene tanks and you don’t care about brushing your teeth, bathing, wearing deodorant, etc. • Isolation – You’ve consistently been avoiding others and turning down attempts of friends and family to pull you out of your slump • Significant change in the way you normally function day to day Call a therapist if you want… • Accountability • An outside perspective • To dig deeper into the “why” • A judgement free zone • New ideas to try Before beginning medication, ask these questions: • “Hey doc! What is your philosophy on prescribing? (Conservative, Experimental, etc?) • “Hey doc! Is there a time limit to how long you will keep me on this medication? • “Hey doc! How will you be measuring how my progress and when to raise/lower dosage and begin or discontinue a medication?” • “Do I feel at peace with how the Dr. explained this medication?” • “Did the Dr. have the heart of a teacher or were they quick to prescribe without hearing me out?” • “Did the Dr. take time with me or rush in and rush out? • “Have I done my own research on the medications the Dr. is recommending?” Homework: If you’re not sure about any of the above, give me a call. I’ll happily do a FREE 15 Minute Consultation Call whether you want to come to see me or not. I’ll give you my professional opinion about what might be the next right step.
By Daniel Crosby October 20, 2025
Depression + Stagnation What do you do when you’re doing all the right things and still feel depression lingering? Depression isn’t an on/off switch that goes away overnight. It rarely gets better in an instant. There’s a progression to it. If you’re investing in some of the things we’re talking about in this series CONSISTENTLY then you’ll probably see some positive changes over time. In the meantime, try these ideas to help boost you out of your stagnation that you’re feeling. 1. Acknowledge progress over perfection. You didn’t get here overnight. Where did you begin and where are you now? What has improved? 2. Go serve someone else in a new way – Focusing on others is a good way to boost the way you feel about yourself. 3. Consider a shock to the system. A trip to a new place, a different therapist, a new hobby, a job change, or making a new friend can all make us feel alive again if we’re stagnant. Homework: Finish this statement: “In the last week, the thing I’m the most proud of myself for doing is_______.”
Graphic for Daniel Crosby Counseling, text states
By Daniel Crosby October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.