One Healthy Way to Handle Intense Marriage Conflict (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 3


One Healthy Way to Handle Intense Marriage Conflict (2 Minute Read)


At some point in your marriage, you’re going to have a disagreement that just seems insurmountable. Every time you talk about that topic, tempers seem to flare. Sometimes, it’s good to take a break and walk away so you don’t do more damage by saying something in the heat of the moment that you’ll later regret.


Here’s how it works:


1. Anyone can call a timeout at any time. Whichever one of you is the more emotionally in control and more mature will be the one who calls the timeout.


2. Always use the words “I” or “We” when calling a timeout. “I think we need a timeout.” Or “I think I need to take a break and calm down.” Never say, “YOU are out of control and YOU need a timeout.” (You get 1 guess on why I had to add this rule.)


3. Once the timeout has been called, the conversation on this topic is over. Do not be that person that has to get in the last word. Do not follow the other person around the house trying to continue the conversation. That is disrespectful. A cease fire is in effect. You may continue to communicate about other life circumstances, if possible, but this topic is off the table for further discussion at this time.


4. When you call a timeout, you MUST choose a time (preferably the same day) that you will get back together and address the disagreement. “Let’s meet back in the living room at 8pm after the kids are in bed to talk more.”


5. Use the time apart to consider your point as well as the other person’s point. Is this worth arguing about? Could the other person’s point have some validity? Did I come across accusatory or aggressive? Is my pride getting in the way of finding a resolution?


6. Meet back together at your specified time to continue to discuss the problem. Consider listening to one another more than talking at one another. Consider apologizing for your part in the disagreement and how you may have come across earlier.


Homework: Decide whether it’s you or your spouse who is the more mature one…just kidding!


Real Homework: Read these timeout rules aloud with your spouse tonight and ask if you can try to put them into practice if you ever find yourself in a big argument or stalemate.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 16, 2025
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen is interesting. It’s one of those books where you need to grab hold of the concepts that are of benefit and toss the ones that aren’t. There’s some new-agey stuff in it that sounded like fluff to me but I had one big takeaway that I’ll use. Here it is: THOUGHTS are great! THINKING can become problematic. When you have a thought, that is neutral. It’s a fact. It’s what we do with that thought that then becomes helpful or harmful. When I take that factual thought and I begin over THINKING, JUDGING myself, SPIRALING into worst case scenarios, then the thought ceases to be productive. I’m confessing to you here. I’m raising my right hand. “Hi, my name is Daniel and I am an overthinker.” And then the crowd at the meeting replied I unison, “Hi Daniel.” Accept the thought but keep an eye on it because if the thought begins to get squirely and become self-critical or catastrophize then we need to snap ourselves back to reality. He gives you a little practical help with this but it’s only a 2 hour audiobook so it’s limited. Hey, that’s why you should come see me for counseling though. As an overthinker, we can work together to find ways to help your overthinking. It’s worth a read though. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen.

"Born Again This Way" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 2, 2025
“Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson is a beautiful and deeply personal book about her struggle between her identity in the LGBT community and how that came into conflict when she became a person of faith. Talk about two very polarizing ideas in our world today! I would say it’s ½ memoir and ½ theology in its makeup. Gilson doesn’t hold back from getting into the nitty gritty of her own story as well as the Christian scriptures. The book is pointed but respectful. I can’t see any well-meaning person coming away from it offended. Sure, there are those who will read it and disagree with her ideas. It will sadden some and give hope to others. I’ve said before that we need to be reading things that challenge us. Read things to sharpen your beliefs. This means you should read a lot of things that are IN alignment with your beliefs so you can further clarify them. Also, read something that opposes your beliefs though. If we always live in our own echo chamber/ algorithm how will be learn how to interact with people who believe differently than we do. This is a great one for families lovingly trying to understand a child wrestling with LGBT ideas. This is a great one if you have friends in the LGBT community and wonder if or how to approach matters of faith. This is a good one for those in the LGBT community who want to read something from a Christian who bridges that divide that often exists. It’s a good one! “Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson.

"The Elephant in the Room" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • June 25, 2025
“The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to get Smaller in a Growing America” by Tommy Tomlinson might be my must read book of the year. It’s a beautiful memoir by Tomlinson, a coastal Georgia native, and a journalist by trade. He tells his story through the lens of his lifelong struggle with his weight. If you live in the south, then food is at the center of everything. We grieve with food, celebrate with food, and medicate with food. Heck, sometimes we’re sitting at the table gorging ourselves for lunch as we’re discussing plans for dinner. The book is hilarious in parts and heart breaking in other parts. It reminded me that everyone has a story behind who they are. We all have junk. He reminded me that some people’s stuff is internal. They look amazing on the outside but they’re crumbling inside. Other people’s stuff is external on display for the whole world to see though. What if rather than prejudging those we meet, we come alongside them and share our stuff. There’s something about knowing someone’s story that levels the playing field. If you struggle with weight, then this book is going to hit home. If you have a friend or family member who struggles with weight, then you need to read this one so you can better connect. If none of the above is true, you need to read this one because it’s an amazing story of a man who has a similar story to the rest of us. You’ll laugh and cry but most of all you’re connect with another person who is on this same journey we’re all on. Go read “The Elephant in the Room” by Tommy Tomlinson.