How to Deal with Infidelity in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

15 Days to a Better Marriage


Day 9


How to Deal with Infidelity in a Marriage (90 Second Read)


This topic is far greater than anything we could cover in 90 seconds. Here’s are 3 basic necessities to get you started on the path to reconciliation.


1. HUMILITY - An admittance of wrongdoing and a desire to restore the marriage.


Recovering from infidelity first begins with humility. If there’s a chance that the marriage is going to survive, it’s going to take both people taking FULL ownership of their part in this. It begins by looking in the mirror. PRIDEFULNESS has no place in reconciliation.


2. DISCERNMENT – A clear understanding of how we got to this point in the first place.


If we don’t know how we got to this point in the first place then how do we know it isn’t going to happen again? We need to determine where we got off the path so we can keep from tripping up again. We need to feel SAFE to keep trying and safety is often found in understanding.


3. EMOTIONS - An ability to empathize with how the infidelity has deeply hurt us and our spouse.


We must FEEL and sit in the hard feelings. Oftentimes an affair happens because we’ve numbed out to our marriage. We need to grieve this loss. It could be a loss of innocence, of reputation, or of expectations. We need to try to truly feel the depth of how our behaviors have hurt ourselves and others.


Just because your marriage is going through a crisis doesn’t mean you can’t make it through this. Many couples are able to survive an affair, repair their marriages, and come out even stronger on the other side.


Don’t try to recover from an affair in isolation. It takes accountability.



HOMEWORK: Commit to a minimum of 10 marriage counseling sessions before deciding whether to divorce or not. Reach out and I’ll help you find the right marriage counselor for you.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Uncomfortable" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • May 7, 2025
“Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community” by Brett McCracken is a great book to read if you’re a church person or if you’ve become somewhat detached and frustrated with the church. McCracken challenges all of us, conservatives and progressives, to think about the WHY behind Christian community and one of the fundamentals of finding the WHY is approaching it with humility. Maybe you having it your way and telling everyone else they’re wrong wasn’t exactly what Christ had in mind when He instituted the church. iPhones and iPads seem to have morphed into iChurch in a sense. American culture has turned Christ’s church into a business that caters to our comforts aesthetically, relationally, and politically. It’s made us consumers, critics, and reviewers of the Church rather than servants of THE Kingdom. It’s not wrong to have preferences and to like some things better than others. Music, décor, and speaking style are all over the spectrum at different churches, but he argues that the point of picking a church and serving in it should be less about does it meet my needs and more about whether I’m showing up and using this place along with this group to glorify God. He annoyed me in parts because he steps on my toes but maybe we need that a little more often. If you’re disenfranchised with the status quo and you feel like it’d be good to be challenged about church then go grab “Uncomfortable” by Brett McCrackin.

Look for Beautiful Things

By Daniel Crosby • April 28, 2025
Look for beautiful things when you're restless, uncomfortable, or on edge. There's something about acknowledging the good around us that helps us reset and realize that it's not all bad. If you're struggling to see beautiful things in the world, come see me and we can talk more about it. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"The Needs of the Heart" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • April 24, 2025
“The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd is a book that will blow your mind. When I picked it up, it’s a very small thin book. Less than 100 pages. I assumed I’d breeze through it in a couple of hours. About a month later I finished digesting it. The truth is we cannot fully live the life God has called us to unless we acknowledge that we do have needs, that these needs are good, and discover the healthy ways of meeting these needs. Chip takes common human needs like Security and Accomplishment and he unpacks what they really are pointing us to in his typical concise but brilliant depth. There’s no fluff here. With chapters just 3-4 pages each, you’re going to want to have a highlighter ready to underline, to ponder these topics, and maybe then to discuss them with someone you know and trust. You’ll come away from this book with a deeper sense what is already fulfilled within you and ones that might be lacking where you need to go do a deep dive with a lot of prayer and introspection. If you liked Chip’s book “The Voice of the Heart,” this is one is your next read. Go grab “The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd.