How to Deal with Infidelity in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

15 Days to a Better Marriage


Day 9


How to Deal with Infidelity in a Marriage (90 Second Read)


This topic is far greater than anything we could cover in 90 seconds. Here’s are 3 basic necessities to get you started on the path to reconciliation.


1. HUMILITY - An admittance of wrongdoing and a desire to restore the marriage.


Recovering from infidelity first begins with humility. If there’s a chance that the marriage is going to survive, it’s going to take both people taking FULL ownership of their part in this. It begins by looking in the mirror. PRIDEFULNESS has no place in reconciliation.


2. DISCERNMENT – A clear understanding of how we got to this point in the first place.


If we don’t know how we got to this point in the first place then how do we know it isn’t going to happen again? We need to determine where we got off the path so we can keep from tripping up again. We need to feel SAFE to keep trying and safety is often found in understanding.


3. EMOTIONS - An ability to empathize with how the infidelity has deeply hurt us and our spouse.


We must FEEL and sit in the hard feelings. Oftentimes an affair happens because we’ve numbed out to our marriage. We need to grieve this loss. It could be a loss of innocence, of reputation, or of expectations. We need to try to truly feel the depth of how our behaviors have hurt ourselves and others.


Just because your marriage is going through a crisis doesn’t mean you can’t make it through this. Many couples are able to survive an affair, repair their marriages, and come out even stronger on the other side.


Don’t try to recover from an affair in isolation. It takes accountability.



HOMEWORK: Commit to a minimum of 10 marriage counseling sessions before deciding whether to divorce or not. Reach out and I’ll help you find the right marriage counselor for you.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 16, 2025
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen is interesting. It’s one of those books where you need to grab hold of the concepts that are of benefit and toss the ones that aren’t. There’s some new-agey stuff in it that sounded like fluff to me but I had one big takeaway that I’ll use. Here it is: THOUGHTS are great! THINKING can become problematic. When you have a thought, that is neutral. It’s a fact. It’s what we do with that thought that then becomes helpful or harmful. When I take that factual thought and I begin over THINKING, JUDGING myself, SPIRALING into worst case scenarios, then the thought ceases to be productive. I’m confessing to you here. I’m raising my right hand. “Hi, my name is Daniel and I am an overthinker.” And then the crowd at the meeting replied I unison, “Hi Daniel.” Accept the thought but keep an eye on it because if the thought begins to get squirely and become self-critical or catastrophize then we need to snap ourselves back to reality. He gives you a little practical help with this but it’s only a 2 hour audiobook so it’s limited. Hey, that’s why you should come see me for counseling though. As an overthinker, we can work together to find ways to help your overthinking. It’s worth a read though. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen.

"Born Again This Way" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 2, 2025
“Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson is a beautiful and deeply personal book about her struggle between her identity in the LGBT community and how that came into conflict when she became a person of faith. Talk about two very polarizing ideas in our world today! I would say it’s ½ memoir and ½ theology in its makeup. Gilson doesn’t hold back from getting into the nitty gritty of her own story as well as the Christian scriptures. The book is pointed but respectful. I can’t see any well-meaning person coming away from it offended. Sure, there are those who will read it and disagree with her ideas. It will sadden some and give hope to others. I’ve said before that we need to be reading things that challenge us. Read things to sharpen your beliefs. This means you should read a lot of things that are IN alignment with your beliefs so you can further clarify them. Also, read something that opposes your beliefs though. If we always live in our own echo chamber/ algorithm how will be learn how to interact with people who believe differently than we do. This is a great one for families lovingly trying to understand a child wrestling with LGBT ideas. This is a great one if you have friends in the LGBT community and wonder if or how to approach matters of faith. This is a good one for those in the LGBT community who want to read something from a Christian who bridges that divide that often exists. It’s a good one! “Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson.

"The Elephant in the Room" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • June 25, 2025
“The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to get Smaller in a Growing America” by Tommy Tomlinson might be my must read book of the year. It’s a beautiful memoir by Tomlinson, a coastal Georgia native, and a journalist by trade. He tells his story through the lens of his lifelong struggle with his weight. If you live in the south, then food is at the center of everything. We grieve with food, celebrate with food, and medicate with food. Heck, sometimes we’re sitting at the table gorging ourselves for lunch as we’re discussing plans for dinner. The book is hilarious in parts and heart breaking in other parts. It reminded me that everyone has a story behind who they are. We all have junk. He reminded me that some people’s stuff is internal. They look amazing on the outside but they’re crumbling inside. Other people’s stuff is external on display for the whole world to see though. What if rather than prejudging those we meet, we come alongside them and share our stuff. There’s something about knowing someone’s story that levels the playing field. If you struggle with weight, then this book is going to hit home. If you have a friend or family member who struggles with weight, then you need to read this one so you can better connect. If none of the above is true, you need to read this one because it’s an amazing story of a man who has a similar story to the rest of us. You’ll laugh and cry but most of all you’re connect with another person who is on this same journey we’re all on. Go read “The Elephant in the Room” by Tommy Tomlinson.