Starving for Relief (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • May 8, 2023

As early as I can remember I’ve always wanted to fit in.


On the playground, in social circles, in our families, and in our work, we silently ask the questions:


  • Am I worthy?
  • Do I matter?
  • Am I going to be ok?


We are starving and desperate for a YES answer to those questions.


The problem with literal starvation is that a starving person WILL eat anything put in front of him whether it’s healthy or not. To a starving person even a piece of moldy bread looks good.


A lot of the tension in our world right now is due to our desperate attempts to get a YES answer by any means, in any way, and by anyone.


We turn to self-help books, intimate relationships, substances, achievement, identity groups, and a myriad of other things in hopes that that thing will say:


  • YES!
  • You are good!
  • You are one of us!
  • You belong here!


What we must consider, however, is whether the thing we are turning to is really healthy or not.


  • Moldy bread WILL fill us up, but it WILL hurt us in the process.
  • A shallow hook up on Tinder WILL cure our aloneness today, but it WILL also make us lonelier tomorrow.
  • A 6-pack of beer WILL numb a bad day at work, but tomorrow WILL be the same...now facing it with a hangover.


My faith and my life experiences have taught me that human wisdom, human advice, human inventions, and human self-identity are, at best, limited and temporary. This is why so many people look to something or Someone bigger than themselves when they are in the depths of despair.


Look to healthy over unhealthy.


Look to fulfilling contentment over temporary thrill.


In all of it, choose connection. There’s safety in numbers as we wrestle with our hurt.


If you or someone you know is hurting, please give them my contact info. I’d love to hear their story. Even if I’m not the best fit for them as a counselor, I’d love to help them find the right counselor to walk with them.

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 16, 2025
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen is interesting. It’s one of those books where you need to grab hold of the concepts that are of benefit and toss the ones that aren’t. There’s some new-agey stuff in it that sounded like fluff to me but I had one big takeaway that I’ll use. Here it is: THOUGHTS are great! THINKING can become problematic. When you have a thought, that is neutral. It’s a fact. It’s what we do with that thought that then becomes helpful or harmful. When I take that factual thought and I begin over THINKING, JUDGING myself, SPIRALING into worst case scenarios, then the thought ceases to be productive. I’m confessing to you here. I’m raising my right hand. “Hi, my name is Daniel and I am an overthinker.” And then the crowd at the meeting replied I unison, “Hi Daniel.” Accept the thought but keep an eye on it because if the thought begins to get squirely and become self-critical or catastrophize then we need to snap ourselves back to reality. He gives you a little practical help with this but it’s only a 2 hour audiobook so it’s limited. Hey, that’s why you should come see me for counseling though. As an overthinker, we can work together to find ways to help your overthinking. It’s worth a read though. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen.

"Born Again This Way" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • July 2, 2025
“Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson is a beautiful and deeply personal book about her struggle between her identity in the LGBT community and how that came into conflict when she became a person of faith. Talk about two very polarizing ideas in our world today! I would say it’s ½ memoir and ½ theology in its makeup. Gilson doesn’t hold back from getting into the nitty gritty of her own story as well as the Christian scriptures. The book is pointed but respectful. I can’t see any well-meaning person coming away from it offended. Sure, there are those who will read it and disagree with her ideas. It will sadden some and give hope to others. I’ve said before that we need to be reading things that challenge us. Read things to sharpen your beliefs. This means you should read a lot of things that are IN alignment with your beliefs so you can further clarify them. Also, read something that opposes your beliefs though. If we always live in our own echo chamber/ algorithm how will be learn how to interact with people who believe differently than we do. This is a great one for families lovingly trying to understand a child wrestling with LGBT ideas. This is a great one if you have friends in the LGBT community and wonder if or how to approach matters of faith. This is a good one for those in the LGBT community who want to read something from a Christian who bridges that divide that often exists. It’s a good one! “Born Again This Way” by Rachel Gilson.

"The Elephant in the Room" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • June 25, 2025
“The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to get Smaller in a Growing America” by Tommy Tomlinson might be my must read book of the year. It’s a beautiful memoir by Tomlinson, a coastal Georgia native, and a journalist by trade. He tells his story through the lens of his lifelong struggle with his weight. If you live in the south, then food is at the center of everything. We grieve with food, celebrate with food, and medicate with food. Heck, sometimes we’re sitting at the table gorging ourselves for lunch as we’re discussing plans for dinner. The book is hilarious in parts and heart breaking in other parts. It reminded me that everyone has a story behind who they are. We all have junk. He reminded me that some people’s stuff is internal. They look amazing on the outside but they’re crumbling inside. Other people’s stuff is external on display for the whole world to see though. What if rather than prejudging those we meet, we come alongside them and share our stuff. There’s something about knowing someone’s story that levels the playing field. If you struggle with weight, then this book is going to hit home. If you have a friend or family member who struggles with weight, then you need to read this one so you can better connect. If none of the above is true, you need to read this one because it’s an amazing story of a man who has a similar story to the rest of us. You’ll laugh and cry but most of all you’re connect with another person who is on this same journey we’re all on. Go read “The Elephant in the Room” by Tommy Tomlinson.