Starving for Relief (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • May 8, 2023

As early as I can remember I’ve always wanted to fit in.


On the playground, in social circles, in our families, and in our work, we silently ask the questions:


  • Am I worthy?
  • Do I matter?
  • Am I going to be ok?


We are starving and desperate for a YES answer to those questions.


The problem with literal starvation is that a starving person WILL eat anything put in front of him whether it’s healthy or not. To a starving person even a piece of moldy bread looks good.


A lot of the tension in our world right now is due to our desperate attempts to get a YES answer by any means, in any way, and by anyone.


We turn to self-help books, intimate relationships, substances, achievement, identity groups, and a myriad of other things in hopes that that thing will say:


  • YES!
  • You are good!
  • You are one of us!
  • You belong here!


What we must consider, however, is whether the thing we are turning to is really healthy or not.


  • Moldy bread WILL fill us up, but it WILL hurt us in the process.
  • A shallow hook up on Tinder WILL cure our aloneness today, but it WILL also make us lonelier tomorrow.
  • A 6-pack of beer WILL numb a bad day at work, but tomorrow WILL be the same...now facing it with a hangover.


My faith and my life experiences have taught me that human wisdom, human advice, human inventions, and human self-identity are, at best, limited and temporary. This is why so many people look to something or Someone bigger than themselves when they are in the depths of despair.


Look to healthy over unhealthy.


Look to fulfilling contentment over temporary thrill.


In all of it, choose connection. There’s safety in numbers as we wrestle with our hurt.


If you or someone you know is hurting, please give them my contact info. I’d love to hear their story. Even if I’m not the best fit for them as a counselor, I’d love to help them find the right counselor to walk with them.

By Daniel Crosby October 27, 2025
Depression + Professional Help So the big questions is: “How do I know when it’s time to go see a counselor about depression? When is it beyond just trying self-help strategies?” Only you know how you’re feeling internally but here are some signs that it’s time to reach out: • Suicidal thoughts – Call or Text 988 Immediately! • Can’t function with work – You don’t care that there may be consequences for poor performance and you’re slacking on deadlines • Parenting – You’ve given up on typical caretaking duties like healthy meals, cleaning up, or setting healthy boundaries with the kids • Finances – You have a “screw it” mentality where you stop budgeting and just spend to try to find happiness OR You stop paying bills altogether • Hygiene – Your personal hygiene tanks and you don’t care about brushing your teeth, bathing, wearing deodorant, etc. • Isolation – You’ve consistently been avoiding others and turning down attempts of friends and family to pull you out of your slump • Significant change in the way you normally function day to day Call a therapist if you want… • Accountability • An outside perspective • To dig deeper into the “why” • A judgement free zone • New ideas to try Before beginning medication, ask these questions: • “Hey doc! What is your philosophy on prescribing? (Conservative, Experimental, etc?) • “Hey doc! Is there a time limit to how long you will keep me on this medication? • “Hey doc! How will you be measuring how my progress and when to raise/lower dosage and begin or discontinue a medication?” • “Do I feel at peace with how the Dr. explained this medication?” • “Did the Dr. have the heart of a teacher or were they quick to prescribe without hearing me out?” • “Did the Dr. take time with me or rush in and rush out? • “Have I done my own research on the medications the Dr. is recommending?” Homework: If you’re not sure about any of the above, give me a call. I’ll happily do a FREE 15 Minute Consultation Call whether you want to come to see me or not. I’ll give you my professional opinion about what might be the next right step.
By Daniel Crosby October 20, 2025
Depression + Stagnation What do you do when you’re doing all the right things and still feel depression lingering? Depression isn’t an on/off switch that goes away overnight. It rarely gets better in an instant. There’s a progression to it. If you’re investing in some of the things we’re talking about in this series CONSISTENTLY then you’ll probably see some positive changes over time. In the meantime, try these ideas to help boost you out of your stagnation that you’re feeling. 1. Acknowledge progress over perfection. You didn’t get here overnight. Where did you begin and where are you now? What has improved? 2. Go serve someone else in a new way – Focusing on others is a good way to boost the way you feel about yourself. 3. Consider a shock to the system. A trip to a new place, a different therapist, a new hobby, a job change, or making a new friend can all make us feel alive again if we’re stagnant. Homework: Finish this statement: “In the last week, the thing I’m the most proud of myself for doing is_______.”
Graphic for Daniel Crosby Counseling, text states
By Daniel Crosby October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.