Living by a Standard Will Lower Your Anxiety (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • December 21, 2023

Have you ever considered what standards you live by? Sometimes they’re so obvious we don’t even think about them. They’re often automatic. Our standards play an important role in anxiety though.


Here are TWO things that cause our anxiety alarms to sound off:


1.  When you don’t have a standard


When we don’t have a standard, we’re like a ship with a dead engine and no rudder. The current will take us anywhere it likes and we feel powerless. Powerlessness: That’ll create come anxiety, right? Increasingly in our world there is an absence of truth. When we don’t have a standard to live by then we don’t know how to react in certain scenarios.


Example: My standard: “Stealing is wrong. I do not steal.” When I’m at a friend’s house and they have a really nice blender sitting on their counter that I would love to have, I already have a preset decision in my mind. “I like their blender but it is theirs and not mine. If I want one, then I have to go get my own.” Easy decision!


Without a standard, though, the “What ifs” start spiraling in our head when we’re faced with a decision.


2. When you have a standard and ignore it


I had a person come into my office over 10 years ago. They were a ball of nerves like I’ve never seen before. Red faced, pressured speech, head lowered, grasping their hair with their hands, and literally wringing their hands. They were struggling! Then I heard the story. They were raised in a Christian home and went to church every week but they had been engaging in a secret illicit extramarital affair for over a year. The guilt and shame was deafening and they were falling apart. They 100% knew the right thing to do yet they were 100% doing the wrong thing. They had ignored their standard and it was tearing them to pieces.


HOMEWORK:

1. What are your top three standards or values that you refuse to budge on?

2. What are some important standards that you’ve tried to teach your kids?

3. Think of a time that you violated one of your standards. Did it stir up some anxiety?

4. What standards do you need to create and live by to lower some of your anxiety?


Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know.

"Uncomfortable" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • May 7, 2025
“Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community” by Brett McCracken is a great book to read if you’re a church person or if you’ve become somewhat detached and frustrated with the church. McCracken challenges all of us, conservatives and progressives, to think about the WHY behind Christian community and one of the fundamentals of finding the WHY is approaching it with humility. Maybe you having it your way and telling everyone else they’re wrong wasn’t exactly what Christ had in mind when He instituted the church. iPhones and iPads seem to have morphed into iChurch in a sense. American culture has turned Christ’s church into a business that caters to our comforts aesthetically, relationally, and politically. It’s made us consumers, critics, and reviewers of the Church rather than servants of THE Kingdom. It’s not wrong to have preferences and to like some things better than others. Music, décor, and speaking style are all over the spectrum at different churches, but he argues that the point of picking a church and serving in it should be less about does it meet my needs and more about whether I’m showing up and using this place along with this group to glorify God. He annoyed me in parts because he steps on my toes but maybe we need that a little more often. If you’re disenfranchised with the status quo and you feel like it’d be good to be challenged about church then go grab “Uncomfortable” by Brett McCrackin.

Look for Beautiful Things

By Daniel Crosby • April 28, 2025
Look for beautiful things when you're restless, uncomfortable, or on edge. There's something about acknowledging the good around us that helps us reset and realize that it's not all bad. If you're struggling to see beautiful things in the world, come see me and we can talk more about it. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com

"The Needs of the Heart" Book Review

By Daniel Crosby • April 24, 2025
“The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd is a book that will blow your mind. When I picked it up, it’s a very small thin book. Less than 100 pages. I assumed I’d breeze through it in a couple of hours. About a month later I finished digesting it. The truth is we cannot fully live the life God has called us to unless we acknowledge that we do have needs, that these needs are good, and discover the healthy ways of meeting these needs. Chip takes common human needs like Security and Accomplishment and he unpacks what they really are pointing us to in his typical concise but brilliant depth. There’s no fluff here. With chapters just 3-4 pages each, you’re going to want to have a highlighter ready to underline, to ponder these topics, and maybe then to discuss them with someone you know and trust. You’ll come away from this book with a deeper sense what is already fulfilled within you and ones that might be lacking where you need to go do a deep dive with a lot of prayer and introspection. If you liked Chip’s book “The Voice of the Heart,” this is one is your next read. Go grab “The Needs of the Heart” by Chip Dodd.