60 Second Marriage Recap - Friends or Foes?
Daniel Crosby • October 25, 2024
10. Friends or Foes?

Marriages often implode when the hopeful belief we’ve always had about our marriage is unexpectedly exchanged for a contradictory fearful or hopeless belief.

You married your spouse because they seemed different than all the other people you had dated. They are “the one!” You knew that if you could spend the rest of your life with them then they’d have your back and you’d always have a safe place to come back to.

Suddenly, a financial deception, an affair, or an exposed secret rocks your world. Your spouse goes from your greatest ally and protector to your most feared adversary and enemy. 

CONFUSION!

3 Ways to Turn Foe Back to Friend:

1. Reminisce
Retell your spouse the story of how you met and why you picked them from your perspective. Those were better days and remembering the good can help us get through the bad.

2. Responsibility
Take responsibility for how you’ve not been a trustworthy friend to your spouse. Tell your spouse how you’ve messed up and let them know that you get how your mistake made them doubt your safety.

3. Request
Ask your spouse if they are willing to let you slowly rebuild trust again. Ask them what types of things they would need to see to begin to be able to trust you again.

Go Time:
Sit down with your spouse tonight and have fun retelling the story of how you met and your first date.

Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know. daniel@danielcrosbycounseling.com
By Daniel Crosby August 3, 2025
“Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl ought to be a must read for everyone because of its historical significance as well as the brilliance in what it teaches us. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist during World War 2 and suffered imprisonment in a concentration camp for most of the war. The first half of the book is a detailed account of the horrors he suffered at the hand of the Nazi’s in the camps. What makes it most interesting is his perspective as an expert student in human behavior, not only of his captors, but also of his fellow sufferers. The second half of the book lays out his psychological theory. This is where it gets a little more geeky and heady. Out of his experiences, he developed what he termed “logotherapy,” which sought to help people find meaning in their lives. He believed that the absence of meaning is what leads to most mental health struggles. There are 3 ways in which we must derive meaning in life: 1. Contributing to the world through work, projects, or any form of creation that brings a sense of purpose. 2. Experiencing the world, including appreciating beauty, encountering love, and engaging with others. 3. Choosing a positive, responsible attitude towards unavoidable suffering, such as illness or loss. So go read this one. You’ll get a lot out of the first half about his experiences in the concentration camps even if you’re not a counseling nerd like me that is fascinated by logotherapy. “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl.
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By Daniel Crosby July 28, 2025
Depression The top two things people come to counseling for are Anxiety and Depression. Nothing else even comes close. Well I’ve given you all a mountain of anxiety tips and tricks so let’s tackle the other one. Depression… I hate depression! I’m going to go ahead and declare war on it right here from the start. Maybe you’re struggling with it yourself but I know that all of us at least know someone who is. Let’s face it, life sucks sometimes. If life hasn’t kicked your butt and wrestled you into submission yet, just wait; it will at some point. The “whys” behind the anxiety and depression are literally limitless because it’s unique and it’s very personal. But this idea of depression can mean 100 different things to 100 different people So I’m planning 12 weeks of ideas and topics related to depression. Now, this information isn’t therapy. These are going to brief and to the point and they’re starter ideas meant to spark ideas within you. We’re barely scratching the surface here AND most importantly, we’re talking mostly about high-functioning depression here. We’ll define that in another post. If you’re teetering on the edge of suicide, call someone right now. Don’t wait. We kind of like having you around and we’d like to keep you around for awhile. Call or Text 988 today and real live person will connect with you. But if you’re dragging through life and just want to run away and quit, you’re going to get some good stuff out of the next 12 weeks. Finally, the algorithms in internetlandia are all based upon interaction. If you want more people to see this stuff then share it, comment on it, and interact. I’d appreciate it and I’ll see you all next week. Homework: Think of a person in your life right now that could benefit from these upcoming posts. Do you think it might help them if you shared it with them?
By Daniel Crosby July 16, 2025
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen is interesting. It’s one of those books where you need to grab hold of the concepts that are of benefit and toss the ones that aren’t. There’s some new-agey stuff in it that sounded like fluff to me but I had one big takeaway that I’ll use. Here it is: THOUGHTS are great! THINKING can become problematic. When you have a thought, that is neutral. It’s a fact. It’s what we do with that thought that then becomes helpful or harmful. When I take that factual thought and I begin over THINKING, JUDGING myself, SPIRALING into worst case scenarios, then the thought ceases to be productive. I’m confessing to you here. I’m raising my right hand. “Hi, my name is Daniel and I am an overthinker.” And then the crowd at the meeting replied I unison, “Hi Daniel.” Accept the thought but keep an eye on it because if the thought begins to get squirely and become self-critical or catastrophize then we need to snap ourselves back to reality. He gives you a little practical help with this but it’s only a 2 hour audiobook so it’s limited. Hey, that’s why you should come see me for counseling though. As an overthinker, we can work together to find ways to help your overthinking. It’s worth a read though. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen.